Marauder advice write in board
by padfootdaryl
Summary: Lily and slughorn are going to sleep together? James and Remus are gay? these and more will be delved into.
1. Chapter 1

It was october 3,1976,when people started to see a peiece of paper posted over a very important message about dungbombs stating: THE MARAUDER WRITE IN ADVICE BOARD IS NOW OPEN!

The next day these messages apeared.

Dear ,

why do you ugly annoying people have such idiotic names?

SS

a)Snivilus!

b. scram snivy

, Fuck off

d. A few things. that is by no means how you spell yeah. and where did you learn thet word?

e. that aint how you spell that and I learned it from you

f. Bullocks

g. look who is talking now

h. 'look who is talking'?who is?just say whose you damn bastard

i. hey

dear moony,

are you gay?cause I am and I love you.

queer hufflepuff

a. chortle chortle

b. shut the damn fucking shit hell up!

c. any swear words that are not in there?

d. the c word.

e. you are right for once wormy

dear marauders,

How did that pettigrew get into your group?You guys are cool good with girls but he is so fucking stupid and ugly!

tom fabes

a. fabes you are so totally fucking dead you shit faced bastard! you son of a bitch!you foul scurvy thug

b. I must agree with padfoot here you arse faced cock

c. Fuck off pete

d. moony I did not know you could swear,much less twice in two letters,amd two it sounded like you want peter to fuck off

e. bugger off

f. wanker

g. bastard

h. son of a bitch

i. SEX SLAVE! YOU ARE A GAY SEX SLAVE!

j. I. am. not. gay. period.

k. is anyone else cracked up every time they hear the word period?

l. Sirius,you are such a pervert.

Dear moony,

How did yo get your nickname?are you good at mooning people?

Reggie pus

a. are you gay?

b. what does that have to do with anything.

c. moony my child,you have much to learn,much to lean indeed.

d. honestly padfoot?

Dear moony,

Are you good at sex?

Mrs. moony

a. one, anyone with a penis his size has go to be bad,and two he has no ball sack,and three,mrs. moony?really?

A/N

so a short first chapter but hey, they get alot longer. Ph and by the way you can send in questions via review. which leads me to the subject of reviews. Please leave one.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear so called marauders,

Why are you all such insolent fools? Such blithering idiots? You are the most annoying people in this goddamn school! Why does everyone love you so much? Do they really love you? or are you blackmailing all of them into submission?

The disdanfull cousin of one Sirius Black a.k.a. padfoot (dumb name),Bellatrix Black

a. Wow. You reall do not like us do you. sad,very sad.

b. Language trixie.

c. cause you can talk.

d. shut the bloody hell up moony.

e. Padfoot, you're just proving his point.

f. Have you ever thoght about how much cousin is like cusine?

g. You,Sirius black, er, padfoot, want to eat bellatrix black? now I have heard everything.

h. dig in. and you did not hear it. you read it.

i. anyway...

Dear potter,

Will you ever stop asking me out? I. Hate. you. Wrap your massive head around that.

Lily Evans

a. SHE SAID DEAR!

b. No,she wrote dear. Honestly prongs m'boy.

c. Ahhhhhhh! Slughorn took over padfoot! Heeeeeeeeeelp!

d. No he did not. I do not hit on girls that are twenty years younger than me.

e. So?

f. Slugie hits on evans.

g. Pervert.

h. I think that she weakens toward him.

i. Shut up padfoot.

j. The slugs gonna get laaaaaiid!

k. Fuck you padfoot.

l. Slugsie wants to fuck lily. thats why you're sore. And of course Evans will be sore after her wild night with Slughorn.

m. Oh,sex. I get it now.

n. wow wormtail.

o. This discussion is now over guys.

Dear perverts,

Really?

LE

a. It is sex just waiting to happen evans, don't deny it.

b. Shut the hell up you bastard.

c. Oh shit,he told me to shut up. I better stop then. Soooooo scared.

Dear padfoot,

We had passion on tuesday,But now we have nothing. I want you back so badly padly.

Passionate with padfoot

a. are you julie, rebecca, Bella, Nicole, or Sara?

b. You kissed your own cousin? Eww padfoot.

c. SHUT UP NOW.

A/N

Well here is another chapter. R&amp;R please.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear marauders,

Why must you be so freaking annoying? So idiotic? So stupid? So darn immature?

Lily evans

a. Padfoot. So perfect? So handsome?

b. Prongs. SHE SAID DEAR!

c. Padfoot. Sily prongs, she wrote 'dear'.

d. Moony. That is getting seriously old.

e. Padfoot. SIRIUSLY OLD! ¡ole!

f. Since when were you spanish?

g. Padfoot. ¡You shall be punished senor moony! ¡OLE!

h. Okay...

Dear stupid fiend.

You smell bad. very bad.

bellatrix black

a. Padfoot. That was random...

b. Wormtail. Yeah, well you smell worse. Ten times worsein fact. HA.

c. Moony. Wow, just wow.

c. wormtail. Are you speechless in fact.

d. Moony. Firstly, capitilize Wormtail. Next, you need a question mark after a question.

E. Padfoot. I laugh in the face of danger.

f. Moony. Why did you jusst laugh in Lily's face?

g. Padfoot. Because she is the face of danger! Ha!

h. Moony. Wow.

i.. Prongs. I love how we rarely actually anwer the question thet the people ask.

j. Padfoot. THANK GOD! PRONGS! I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD!

Authors note.

Well here is another chapter. Review or just say hi. Also Read and Review my other story sibiling.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Dear Padfoot

Remember when you and me did some fucking

SS

. You do know that you just said you were gay. IF the story were true that is

B. Moony. WHO IS THE GAY SEX SLAVE KNOW FUCKA

c. Padfoot. Fucka? Siriusly? (HA)

d. Prongs. Sigh

Dearest marauders

I am eleven and i am confused as to what some of the words you say mean. Like fuck and shit and damn and sex and yeah

Lily evans

a. prongs. SHE WROTE DEAREST. EST.

b. padfoot. do you knoww anything? and since when were you eleven?

c. Wormtail. When a man loves a woman son, He puts his penis in her vagina. that is sex. sex is fucking. shit is poop. damn is like eternal damnation.

d. Moony. wow.

e. padfoot. My poor wormy is no longer inocent.

f. prongs. I love Lily's boobs.

g. Wormtail. Prongs is gonna DIE.

h. Moony. Why do you lovfe the fleshy ligaments used for breastfeeding that Lily has Prongs

i. Padfoot. He means BOOBS

j. Moony. this is over

Prongs potter

why are you such an insufferable brat

LE

a. prongs. um...

b. Padfoot. He was born that way.

c. prongs. ):

d. Padfoot. (;

e. Prongs. Motherfucker

Padfoot

Why are you so insufferably awesome

LE

a. Padfoot. It is natural

b. Moony. Padfoot everyone knows you wrote that letter.

c. Padfoot. Fuck no! How the fuck do they fuckin know the fuckin fuckers.

d. Wormtail. profanity

e. Padfoot. I like the way Fuck sounds. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuckity fuck

f. Wormtail. FUCK it padfoot. wtch your fuckin mouth around the fuckin fist year fuckers (Get what I did ther?)

An

so i was gonna forget this story... send in your questions.


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